Choke
by unifilar
Summary: [PostTeen Titans: Toyko] After a year of broken communication, Robin and Raven talk about the happenings in Toyko.


**Author's Note:** Rob/Star's fans, don't trample me. XD

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"So...you kissed her."

She floated up beside him in that stealthy, dead-silent way that used to send a chill down his spine. But now he could just sense her when she was nearby, so she couldn't catch him by surprise.

It was two weeks after the unforgettable trip to Toyko, the two week anniversary of the only true kiss Robin and Starfire shared, a day marked by Robin's acceptance of their relationship. Their flirting was more obvious now, and the teasing dropped to a minimum since Robin was so mellow about it. A sort of relief fell over the Tower like a comforting blanket, enveloping them all in its warmth, diminishing the sexual tension that had been floating around for years.

Robin glanced to Raven, the autumn breeze trying to break through her impenetrable cloak, her face shadowed over by her hood. That was odd, he thought, quirking a brow. She never used to wear her hood around him. Was something bothering her? Then he remembered that she had directed a statement toward him.

He smiled the smile of a man who knows he did something right.

"Yeah, I did." He replied, watching the darkness under her hood carefully. They hadn't talked privately in a long time- probably not since a year ago. Robin seemed to jump-start with that fact- had it really been so long ago? Why had they stopped talking?

He knew the answer to that before he thought it.

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_"Robin, we need to stop seeing each other for a while." She was cold and serious, an unusual strain on her voice, like she holding something back. Robin was shocked speechless by this ridiculous suggestion. Confused and wounded, knowing that this couldn't possibly be a sick joke, he reached a hand toward her, but she just narrowed her eyes and stepped back._

_"This is something that needs to be done." _

_"B-but...Raven...this doesn't make any sense. Why are you saying this?"_

_"We can still cooperate on a business-like level, but any communication outside of our job should halt." She was solidly decisive about this. _

_"What are you talking about, Raven? Why?" He was pleading with her now, feeling weak and vulnerable, like he was being cut off from some addiction. Her eyes clouded over and her words came clearly, cold and resolute. _

_"You don't want to hurt her." _

_He knew what she meant, but he refused to believe that Raven could simply put Robin out of her personal life. But she did. No matter how many times he went to her, she withdrew, running away to wherever he couldn't find her. After months and months of being shut out, Robin gave up, frustrated and heart-broken. They had become so close, such good friends...why did it all have to go to waste? _

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He wanted to desperately bring up that conversation they had a year ago, but it seemed like it was lost in the wind now, and that because Raven was talking to him now, he shouldn't worry about it.

Despite his cheerful reply, Raven didn't attempt a grin.

"And?" Robin faltered, trying to find words to reply with. But even as he did so, a part of him couldn't help feeling resentful. _After all this time, she came to talk to me, only to be the emotionless half-demon I know she's not?_

"And..." he began, looking away from her, trying to quell the growing wave of anger inside him. "And we're happy. We celebrated our two-week anniversary today. It was great. I bought her a handmade outfit for Silkie, and she baked me the classic Tamaran 'Lovers' Cake'. Tradition says that the two people who share the cake will remain lovers for all eternity. Funny thing is, I was about to take a bite after Starfire did, but Beast Boy came in and thought the dessert was for everyone, so he gulped down a piece before we could stop him. Starfire got so mad, she tried to-..."

"Robin. Stop." She commanded sternly. Silence cut into his throat like a blade, deadening any words he had on his tongue.

"Love is a very powerful emotion, Robin. Even if it's not true, mature love- an infatuation with someone else can be felt easily. I felt it between Beast Boy and Terra, and...for a while, you and Starfire..." She paused, and Robin began to drown in the overwhelming waves of dread that came over him. _She knew._ _She **knew.** _

"You don't love her. You don't even have a crush on her, Robin."

The words pierced straight through his heart.

Of COURSE Raven would know. He should've been careful. He should've avoided her. No, he could never have done that...

"Raven..." He tried, preparing to bring forth the words he had been repeating to himself for months.

"You can't toy with someone's emotions, Robin. That goes against all your morals- all **our** morals." He could feel her growing angrier, and he floundered in this crushing wave of guilt and disappointment.

"You don't understand! Remember when she and I were stranded on that planet together? She couldn't use her powers, Raven. She was in such a depressive state, she couldn't even defend herself. And all because I said she wasn't my girlfriend. I realized then that I couldn't tell her the truth, that I didn't feel that spark anymore. If I did, it would tear the team apart." Words gushed out in a jumbled, desperate mess rather than an organized, sensible manner that he had wanted. Raven turned to him, the wind pushing her hood back. The disappointed gaze in her eyes struck Robin with such a blow he had to stumble back a step. He couldn't bear that look in her eyes. And yet he knew he deserved it.

And something clicked in his head. He examined her in a new eye, the strength returning to his legs.

"You knew she couldn't handle it either. That's why we stopped talking, right? Because Starfire felt we were getting too close." The words sounded too assertive- Raven made that clear enough when she throw in his face a glare so fierce, Robin had to close his eyes to block it out. He turned away shamefully.

"That was then. This is now. Starfire's matured. She needs more credit than you give her. You _have_ to tell her, Robin, before this goes any farther." It seemed like that was the closer to their conversation, but still Raven remained, glowering at him. She knew that what Robin needed right then was tough love.

He finally returned her gaze, wincing a little at her harshness. Then he looked back out over the city, the sun stretching its lazy beams of light toward him, as if trying to push him back into the Tower, back to tell Starfire the truth. The weight of the conversation finally weighed itself fully on his shoulders, making his knees buckle and making him collapse to the floor, kneeling before the beautiful scenery. He hands laid useless at his sides, his head feeling all-too gravitated to the earth.

"I know..." He mumbled in such a grief-stricken tone that Raven felt pangs of sympathy flow through her. At least Raven's point had reached home. But after putting him through all that emotional turmoil, she couldn't help but pity him, even though she did her best to remain angry. He did what he thought was best for the team.

"But now it's time to do what's best for _you_, Robin." She finished her thought aloud, the words putting life into her hand, forcing it to rest on Robin's heavily-laden shoulder. He allowed himself a glance to her with her anti-climatic actions, but she didn't return it. He accepted this, and turned to watch the sunset, streaks of brilliant color manifesting into an interwoven tapestry of color. His eyes never deterred from this spectacle, his gaze unwavering as if he was mesmerized.

His mind was playing the scene that was sure to unfold, and, at the thought of the pain to follow, felt his soul writhe.


End file.
